Why is it that family (if anyone from family reads this blog, please don't take this the wrong way... and please don't ever make yourself known. I don't really sensor what I write on here and since it's my blog I don't feel I should have to... It's nothing against you) think that I need (or better yet, WANT) their opinion when I make a simple comment like "I don't know that we need to spend the extra money on a changing table?" Please someone tell me!
I spent all Saturday with my MIL who once again spent the ENTIRE day telling me what I should and shouldn't do once Olive is here, what pieces of furniture I MUST have (to save the grandparents' back mind you), and how thing are generally going to go. I don't know about any BTDT, but this comes off as rude and bossy. For some reason, I thought this was Batman's and MY child we were having here... apparently I was mistaken! AAAHHH!! I thought I was going to pull my hair out! I have about had it with the woman and it only seems to be getting worse. My fear is that it is going to increase 100 fold when Olive is actually here!
Does anyone have any advice on how to not let this bother me so much? Because right now I am seriously telling Batman we need to MOVE AWAY before Olive gets here!
15 comments:
I have no idea what to say to make this not bother you as much. Because its just as annoying as you think it is.
And I hate to tell you this but it does increase once the baby is here. I just usually blow them of nicely by pretending to listen.
I'm sure this kind of "advice" is very annoying. I'd nod, smile and say "Thanks. That's something we'll have to consider." and then change the subject.
I, personally, think changing tables are stupid and a waste of money. If my kid were to cr*p himself, I'm gonna change him ASAP. I'm not going to pick him up and run him into his bedroom every blessed time just so I can hoist him up on a special table to wipe his a$$. Nah... a changing mat on the floor works just as well. Plus, once the kid gets more mobile, you have to worry about him rolling off the thing... no thanks!
Candi-
that's pretty much what I was thinking too... besides my neighbor managed to raise 3 kids without getting one, and still thinks they are pretty much a waste of money! At this point the best thing the kid is going to get is a dresser that may or may not be a height to double as a changing table... when we are IN THE ROOM!
Truth be told, it's gonna get a LOT worse once the baby arrives. That I can assure you! I can't tell you how many times I've been livid over people's unsolicited opinions and advice. There's no solution other than to ignore it (and scan your calls)!
Yes, I agree the changing table is a waste of money IMO. I have a changing pad and keep it on top of baby's dresser; I did NOT waste money on a specialized changing table that will only be used for a couple of years.
Seriously, this is your baby - do as you see fit. And just be forewarned that it gets soooo much worse once the baby is born. You WON'T BELIEVE what comes out people's mouths then... even from complete strangers.
Brace yourself! ;-)
I have NEVER been very fond of my MIL (shhh dont tell Kevin lol)...they just never seem to know when to mind their own business.
I'm telling on you...
I completely agree with you. There is a hole movement toward less stuff. The local news just did a story on it. I havn't read the whole article but I found it for you. http://www.king5.com/sharedcontent/northwest/learning-for-life/stories/NW_040309LIFB-natural-parenting-KS.9d52f91a.html
From what I read so far, it appealed to me.
Just act like you're taking their advice and then do your own thing. My SIL told me to buy EVERYTHING used. Yuck. I have the money to buy a new crib and new car seat so I'm going to do it. My best friend was disgusted that my SIL would suggest all used things, including a breast pump! I think my SIL thinks that Josh and I are poor since she stays at home and spends shit loads of money on crap all the time and Josh and I both work.
I agree though, I won't be getting a changing table either, unless someone buys one for me without me knowing.
I laughed when I read your post, only because my mother in law is the queen of unwarranted advice!! And we don't even have kids yet, I know it'll get worse then. Thank god the Navy moved us 1200 miles away from her, lol.
My advice for dealing with your MIL is to stand up for your self. I would say "thank you for the advice, but I think Batman and I have decided to do it this way." Just stand firm and hopefully she'll get the hint.
I think changing tables are stupid too. My sister has one for her baby and when I was there we used it maybe like 10% of the time. When we finally have a baby I just plan on using the top of the dresser if we're in the room. Other than that changing on the floor on a changing mat is what we'll do.
Oh Mother in Laws!!! Don't know what to tell you about that. I can only think of one thing...IGNORE her. (I often do that!)
I soooo hear you with this post. Let me know when you have a solution?? I might need the same advice in the very near future...!!!
oh geez...my MIL is so much like this!!! I stood up to her. I couldn't take it. I wasn't rude but i firmly stated that if I wanted her opinion or advice she would be the first I went to. But in the mean time PLEASE let me do this my way and how Ryan (my DH) I want. She shut her mouth...sometimes she does make strong suggestions but not very often... one thing that pissed me off was that she insisted on a bassinet and a pack n' play.... Noah HATED the bassinet and always slept in his fancy pack n' play like an angel...beside he outgrew that damn bassinet so fast!!! I'm glad I told her if she thought I needed it so bad to buy it as a gift because I didn't wanna but both.
Stand up to her now or forever be annoyed!!!
p/s changing table?? WASTE OF MONEY!!
I hope you don't think I'm a stalker but Melissa and I keep in touch (I saw your blog on her and recognized you from the ttcyfc board where I lurked after I got pg.) Anyways, I'm so happy for you and your DH that you are expecting your little one. :) I tend to be sassy so my mil would get a big fat "I hear what you're saying but we're choosing to do this (whatever you're choosing insert here) because that's what will work for us. Thanks for your suggestion though." I've said it a million times and I'll continue to say it. I love my mil but she definitely knows now when to back off because I make it clear. Bitchy but sweet at the same time. :) Good luck!
lol, me and my dh havent told our families yet but I know as soon as we do everyone will have an opinion for us too. if you figure out a way to handle them nicely that works please let me know. GL!
Ugh, I hear you on unsolicited advice, especially from family. I'm sure I'll have a rant or two in store regarding my mother or MIL.
You could always try the, "Huh, I guess things have changed a lot since you had kids." I don't ever think I'd say such a thing, but its nice to imagine saying it sometimes.
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