Friday, August 10, 2012

Worlds worst mom

I'm having one of those days where I just feel like a bad mom all around. I've yelled, gotten mad, given B an enormous amount of time outs, snapped, ranted and raved... I'm at my wits end :( And through all that I just want to sit and have a good cry (and a very large bottle of wine... Which of course I can't for a while, so crying may have to do).

I have a feeling a lot of this is pregnancy hormones coupled with a normal case of "terrible twos" behavior but I feel like such a failure regardless.

I think I'm in much need of a night off which, thankfully, I'm getting a couple hours to myself as Batman is taking B out on a "date" tonight (that sounds kinda weird lol)

I know we all have days like this, but this one's hitting me hard for some reason. I don't want to be that mom. I want to be better than that. I don't like losing my cool around B. I want her to learn better ways of coping than yelling or getting so frustrated you snap. I'm not being a great example these days, and I fear she's going to be an emotional basket case just like I was growing up. I want better for her. She deserves better.

Sorry for the rambling. Im just at the end of my rope today, this week, this month. Ahhh!


Lauren said...

I totally understand... we all have days like that! And they make me feel absolutely terrible, too. I'll lie awake thinking about them at night. I'm sorry it's been one of those days for you. I'm glad you're getting some time off tonight!

I've read some articles lately that have REALLY helped me with not letting my fuse get so short. I found after reading them I was just able to deal with really annoyance behaviour and regular disobedience in a more constructive, calm manner, even when I'm in a terrible mood. I'm not saying I haven't ever raised my voice since I read them, but I haven't "yelled" or acted scary or done/said things that I regretted afterward. Maybe they might help you too??

Ashley said...

I think so much of it has to do with being at the end of the pregnancy! I tend to be super, super patient with Teddy but even I am losing my cool more often lately.

It of course doesn't help that he is really starting to become more independent and mature (Whis is AWESOME but less so when you just want to go inside the house and not deal with him doing it by himself then getting distracted 20 times before finally deciding to run into the street because he sees something he has to look at

So I say give yourself some slack!! Soon baby 2 will be here and everything will calm way down LOL :D :D

Fine For Now said...

I think it's totally normal! I felt like that a lot too at the end of my pregnancy and even now with the baby here. What sets me off now is Meredith coming loudly into the room while I'm trying to lay James down to sleep and then that startles him and I have to start all over again! I am going to go read the articles the first commenter posted later :)

someday-soon said...

Sorry hon {{{HUGS}}} Hope you got a couple hours off and today is a new day =)

Happily Married said...

I hope you've had some down time and been able to see that what you went through on Friday is *totally normal* but I completely understand how it makes you feel when it happens. BTDT just the other day! We are supposed to be good examples for our littles but we can't be perfect. The good thing is that it's on your radar. I'm sure being in the 3T hasn't helped in the hormone dept but you're doing an excellent job. Being pg while also having a toddler isn't a cake walk! (((HUGS))) Hun. Nothing is worse than feeling like a bad mom. You're a great mom and B is living proof of it!