Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Part II

Go read part II of our WCE... it's even better than part I

Don't ask questions... just. go. read.

An Update

Sorry I haven't updated you all on TTC. There really hasn't been much going on so there isn't much to update. I got a BFN on 10dpo and then kept forgetting to test (how sad is that) then finally I remembered yesterday, but then remembered AF is due today so I figured I would just wait it out.
Still no AF, but that isn't abnormal. Sometimes she waits until the afternoon before she arrives. So, if no AF by the end of the day, I'll test in the morning... if I can remember! LOL!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Go read!

If you haven't already, go check out Batman's blog to read about our Christmas adventures. He's a much better story-teller than I so it's well worth the read.

Hope you enjoy it!

Friday, December 26, 2008

Awards and Merry Christmas

So I am a little late on the whole Merry Christmas thing, but for what it's worth... Merry Christmas everyone!! :)
We spent yesterday eating horrible food for breakfast (sausage, eggs and hashbrowns... I know, I know... totally NOT vegan) then heading to my IL for dinner and games. We decided on a new tradition for Christmas dinner instead of ham or turkey: PASTA! OH yum! It was so, so tasty. My MIL made her homemade spaghetti sauce, I made homemade butternut squash raviolis, and Grandma made WONDERFUL cookies. We spent time enjoying each other's company and playing the Wii (I rock at bowling btw). Overall it was a great day, even though I am getting horribly sick.

Jayme gave me the most fabulous award too :)

Woo hoo! I'm FABULOUS!
The rules for this one is to admit my 5 addictions and then pass it onto another 5 blogs

1. Diet Coke. Although I have given this one up for the most part, I used to drink 3-6 cans/ cups of this a DAY. My last job was in the same parking lot as a Sonic, so popping over there getting a 44oz Diet Coke was easy... and addicting. I would drink at least 2 of those a day! Eek!
2. Clinique DDML I don't know what it is about this stuff, but it makes my skin feel AMAZING! I have been using it since...oh, junior high.
3.The Office. Hilarious!
4. Kino. I talk about, love on, play with, and am completely obsessed with this animal. He's my baby!
5.Batman. might as well face it I'm addicted to HIS love! LOL

I would nominate 5 more people, but everyone I read has already been given this award! Hope everyone had a great holiday!!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

The spots

So this morning Batman and I were being a little frisky and DTD and afterward I had a little bit (I do mean just a little... no more than a couple wipes worth) of pink spotting. Hmm... nothing since.

Should I be worried? Could this be AF getting ready to come for a visit? I just don't know what to think. I guess all I can do is wait it out some more...

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Bucket List... yes I stole it!

Sorry I have been a little MIA lately... not too much going on for me and Batman. Although, we did have a rather eventful (read disasterous) time shopping downtown last Wednesday. I keep waiting for Batman to blog about it so I can just have you read it over there (he tells the story SO much better than I) but he hasn't gotten around to it yet. Hmph!
So in consolation here is the IPS update: sore bbs... not really counting them though as this is typical when I do O (or take Provera), weird pinching pain down below on and off yesterday, tired (fell asleep at 8:15 last night watching White Christmas... I NEVER fall asleep to that movie, it's one of my favorites in fact. That's 2 nights in a row by the way) small amount of creamy, brown spotting on 3dpo.
Oh and I decided to snag this from MrsMoeJoe. (BTW, for some reason I can't seem to leave comments on your blog... wonder why that is... but I do try)

The Bucket List

Hit forward and place an (x) by all the things you've done and remove the (x) from the ones you have not. Then send it to your friends (including me). This is for your entire life!

( )Been to Europe
( ) Been on a cruise
(x) Gone on a blind date (set up by Batman before we were dating, go figure)
(x) Skipped school
( ) Watched someone die
(x) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico (no desire to)
(x) Been to Florida (Disneyworld!)
(x) Been on a plane
(x) Been lost (too many times)
(x) Been on the opposite side of the country
( ) Gone to Washington , DC (not yet, but come April I am there!!)
( ) Been to Vegas (again, no desire)
(x) Climbed a lighthouse
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Rolled in the snow
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
( ) Seen the Cherry Blossoms in Washington , D.C.
(x) Played cops and robbers
( ) Been present in a confrontation where guns were pulled
( ) Been in a knock down drag out fight
( ) Flown a plane
( ) Owned a boat
( ) Watched grandchildren grow (do my grandparents, grandchildren count? LOL)
(x) Recently colored with crayons (my BFF is a 1st grade teacher... we color)
( ) Been to the Kentucky Derby
( ) Been to Key West
(x) Been to a rodeo (um... I live in Idaho... this is a given)
(x) Sang Karaoke
(x) Paid for a meal with coins only (just the other day!)
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't (all the time!)
(x) Accused the family dog of flatulating (LOL totally)
(x) Made prank phone calls
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose (soda hurts!)
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) Danced in the rain
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(x) Had sex outdoors
(x) Had a near death experience
(x) Watched the sunrise with someone
( ) Seen the green flash at sunset
(X) Blown bubbles
(x) Gone ice-skating
( ) Owned a convertible
(x) Been in an outside hot tub when it was snowing
1. Any nickname? T
2. Mother's name ? Mom
3. Body Piercing ? Ears. Had my tongue pierced once
4. How much do you love your job? I don't really LOVE it, but I do like it
5. Birthplace ? Washington
6. Been to Hawaii ? Yes
7. Ever been to Africa ? Nope don't even want to
8. Ever eaten just cookies for dinner? Yes!
9. Ever been on TV? YES! :)
10. Ever steal any traffic sign ? Not me but Batman has "acquired" a couple over the years
11. Ever been in a car accident? only a couple... once with a couple signs, once a lady backed into me and once when it was icy and I rearended someone
12. Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle ? 4 door
13. Favorite number? 4
14. Favorite movie ? The Notebook, Gone with the Wind, Pride and Predjudice
15. Favorite holiday ? Christmas or Thanksgiving
16. Favorite dessert? Hm... dessert I could really take or leave... a loaf of French Bread though... watch out!
18. Favorite food ? bread, pasta, bread
19. Favorite day of the week ? Saturday
20. Favorite brand of body wash ? Bath and Body Works
21. Favorite smell ? Outside after it rains
22. How do you relax? Read or watch TV
23. How do you see yourself in 10 years ? Hopefully with a couple kids, out of debt completely, and happy

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Answer to Margelina's question

We only recently went vegan after reading an excellent book- The China Study by Dr T Colin Campbell. I think it's been since September? October maybe?
It is not because we are crazy PETA advocates (which tends to be the case with vegans). I could care less if people want to kill and eat a cow. I have done so for my entire life with no issues. I don't think it's wrong to eat eggs or milk or steak or whatever. It's just unhealthy.

It has been a work in progress honestly. Most days it really isn't hard to eat vegan as I LOVE veggies, fruits and grains. The only thing that has been really hard to give up is cheese. I love cheese. I dream of cheese (this is not even a joke. I have had a number of dreams where I am in a cheese factory or am eating wheels and wheels of cheese. Or I am being drowned in a vat of cheese)! Meat hasn't really been an issue as we didn't eat a whole lot to begin with. Eggs I could leave or take, as they have never been something I enjoy. Milk is also a non-issue. Batman is slightly lactose intolerant so he never drank milk and I only had a glass on very rare occasions. Soy or rice milk has been a very easy substitute to get used to.

Baking was a little difficult at first as most cookies and cakes require eggs. However we discovered an egg replacement at our local health food store that works just fine. And again most of the time soy or rice milk can be substituted for cow's milk.

Does that answer your questions? :)

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

No lovin'

Even though I'm O'in'.
Batman was just "too tired" last night to be charmed by my feminine wiles, so BDing didn't happen. Instead we watched The Dark Knight and went to bed. Sadly enough, DH started to do the whole sleep sex thing (have I ever mentioned he does this?), but never got farther than turning over a little and saying "baby, I want some." I know it's probably too late by tonight, but I WILL seduce him for sure! Gotta get in a little more lovin' just to be sure, right?
I still think we have a good chance though (see that's me being positve for once). Everything has been pointing to O for a few days now (CM, CP, etc) so I think all the swimmers that were deposited on Sunday really have a shot of making the long journey.
We shall see what happens, ya?

I am going to take the advice about starting to POAS early that way if it is a true BFN it won't hurt so much. (I would have last cycle too, only we know how that turned out) I am really optimistic this time. I can't remember the last time I really thought it could happen.

Tag your it

I've been tagged by Margelina! Isn't that so sweet? :)

Here are the rules:1. Link to the person who tagged you.2. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about you.3. Tag 7 random people at the end, and include links to their blog

Okay so here it goes:

1. I have never been skiing even though I have always lived within 30 min of excellent ski resorts. Pres Bush even stayed at this one. I have always wanted to try it though. I think it would be fun :)

2. I'm naturally a light blonde, but haven't been truly, virgin blonde since college. Right now my hair is redish brown and I like it so it will probably stay this way for a while.

3. I used to eat peanut butter and bologna sandwiches as a kid. Now I wouldn't touch the stuff. Vegans UNITE!

4. I don't like fish (even before veganism). Never have. Never will. Tastes like the ocean only worse.

5. I coach a college cheer squad here(but secretly think they have almost no talent among them... is that bad? I do love them all though)

6. The WORST sound in the world to me is teeth scraping on a metal fork. Even just thinking about it gives me goose bumps. Batman often does it just so he can get a reaction from me. It's like nails on a chalkboard.

7. When I was 16 I ran into two road signs. I was looking for my cell (it was ringing) under a pile of clothes and my car veered (sp?) off the road a little and I ran through not only 1 but 2 road signs. As soon as I had stopped a nearby neighbor hopped the fence and started putting them back into the ground and said "happens all the time." I guess they should move them then?

Here are my 7 to tag: Melissa, Andrea, Poltzie, Peeveme, Kelly, Carbon, T-Party

Have fun :)

Monday, December 15, 2008

Things are moving in the right direction

Whew 2 posts in one day! I just had to share though:


I think this is the first time in about a year or so that I have had a positive (partly because I wasn't always Oing and partly because I am idiot and forgot to test some cycles until it was "too late" ie AF arrived)

Seriously though, this has made my entire week!

Batman and I will definitely be DTD today when I get home. I'm not going to tell him about the + OPK. He'll probably think I am just being spontaneous, which is fine with me. It will be a win-win for both of us.


So I have been having these really weird crampy like feelings down near my ovaries. I know they aren't O pains because, well I have had those and these were DEFINITELY not those, plus they have been going on since Friday afternoon. Oh and it's on both sides, but the right side hurts a little more than the left.

Could this be a sign of something?

I haven't gotten a pos OPK yet, but it has been getting darker everyday. I guess I will know in a few more days if O is going to happen at all.

Hmmm... until then I guess I am just going to have to wait it out?

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Surprise for me!

Batman and I had decided to forgoe buying a real tree this year (in order to add funds to the ever needy "fix my car" fund) and instead borrow a fake one from my ILs.

Well, last night I walked into my home and smelled the most wonderful scent- Christmas. (You know, the smell of a fresh cut tree? That says Christmas to me) I didn't think much of it, thinking it was maybe something from outside or maybe (our neighbor had just come over) from the wreath on our door.
And then I walked into the living room and saw this:

I almost cried (chalk another one up to the crazy hormones). It was THE best surprise I think I have ever gotten! (Except for maybe last week when I got home and Batman had put up our outside lights... that was pretty nice too)

He then showed me this:

He already put all the lights on it for me :)

Turns out my MIL felt so bad for us that she took Batman to get a real tree after he got off work yesterday and insisted on having it up with lights on it before I got home. She is really the sweetest woman alive. I think I know where Batman gets it!

Tonight we are putting on all the ornaments after I get home from loving on this guy I can't wait!!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

It's going to cost HOW MUCH?

So, I was on my way to work this morning and my car's check engine light came on and promptly died. Come to find out the engine seized and now has to be replaced. Along with the clutch. And the timing belt.

It's going to cost somewhere around $4000. Wow! Merry Christmas to Me and Batman!
I think I might just wrap up my car and stick it under my tree because that's all I'll be getting this year!

I hate car problems!

Monday, December 8, 2008

The love list is in

Go check out Batman's blog today! It's hilarious!

Although completely untrue. Kino ranks much higher...

Sunday, December 7, 2008

My new love

Doesn't that just say it all? I'm head over heels for this little guy. I know I was upset yesterday and thank you all for your wonderful comments :) but as soon as I saw this little guy all that went out the window (well, until I got home and cried again... I blame the hormones) and I was in love. From his cute little button nose to his lovable squishy cheeks to his adorable forehead wrinkles, I knew I was a lost cause.

Here is me and baby Colin. He's just a doll.

And here is Mommy and Colin (please don't tell her I put up this pic... She would KILL me if she knew she was on here without makeup! LOL)

And lastly, Daddy and Colin.

Seriously, I am smitten. I think they are going to get tired of me hanging around all the time ;-)

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Baby Colin is here!

BFF had her baby boy about 2 hours ago :) 7 lbs 14 oz 21.5 in long. BEAUTIFUL!! I haven't been to see them yet, but hopefully later this afternoon or tomorrow morning, but so far from pics, he is an angel! I can't wait to get my hands on the little love muffin! He is the sweetest thing I have ever seen (except for maybe my friend H's little man... he is pretty darn cute... and my nephew when he was a baby, also a doll)

Can I just be brutally honest though? I'm dying inside. There I said it. I am holding back tears right now because I am so sad that he isn't my little boy, that it wasn't me that just gave birth, that it isn't me. I feel bad for even feeling this way. I feel like I am not being a good friend because I know I will have a hard time seeing him and her, holding him, knowing it's not my turn... I don't know if any of this makes sense, or if it's normal, but I can't help but feel jealous? Is that really what I am feeling? All I know is it hurts to see her have exactly what I have been longing for for the last 4 years.
And on top of my sadness I feel angry because she plays off her pregnancy as if she were an IFer. Like 6 mos was just SUCH a LONG time to get preggo. That she has any idea of what I am going through. And I am angry because she didn't even want kids for another 3-5 years but as soon as she found out we were TTC, she had to keep up with the Jones's and jump on the baby train.
ARGH! Why can't I just let all this go and just be happy for her. It's not her fault that her body works the way it should and mine just... well, doesn't.
I hate that I have become bitter. I hate it! Why can't this process just be easy? Why can't we just get pregnant? :*(

Thursday, December 4, 2008

A little late...

but better late than never I say. On sew mama sew there are a bunch of giveaways to enter of handmade crafts! go and enter!! Some of them are over but there are plenty that are still up and running until Friday! :)

Oh the hot flashes

Wait, isn't that the same title I used a couple weeks ago? Well, they are worse. Now instead of starting AFTER I stop taking the clomid, they have continued from last (wonky) cycle to this one with no break.
I can't sleep. I wake up at least every hour in a pool of sweat. It's disgusting and frustrating. And exhausting.
I think Batman is about to kick me out of the bed! He has resorted to putting a pillow between us so he doesn't accidently fall into the puddle!! He also thinks our house is bordering on cold, while I think it's a sauna most of the time.

Ugh here comes another one. I just hope they end before I have to take out all my summer clothes again!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Yay K!!

My coworker, K, just got the call from her RE today... it's a BFP!!! I am so super excited for her! She has been TTC for 3+ years now and this was IUI #10 or something crazy like that (they have both male and female IF). In fact, today she said she really expected them to tell her it was negative. She was ready to start her last cycle before pursuing IVF. When she got the results we could all here her yelling (excitedly) down the hallway :) I seriously started crying when she came back to my office and told me! She has worked so hard for this!!

I'm so praying that this little bean (or beans! OY!) stays super stuck in there!! She goes for a beta in a couple days I believe. :D

Monday, December 1, 2008

Another lousy call back

Well, I got a call back from the doc's office and this time it was the
"other nurse" (aka the one I don't like as well). Basically the conversation was as follows:
N: "Oh AF came? Did you ever get a + on OPK?"
Me:"No , I didn't but as I said my cycle was only 18 DAYS. Shouldn't I be concerned about this? And the heaviness of AF- is this a side effect or something I should worry about?" (Duh!)
N:"No, it's not a s/e and it isn't anything to worry about. Sometimes you just have shorter cycles and sometimes they are just heavier." (Uhh... webmd has abnormal uterine bleeding listed as a s/e. Apparently that is misinformation?)
Me:"Um, okay."
N:"So let's up the dosage on the clomid to 150 and see how you do" (right, because throwing more Clomid at it, is sure to fix the problem)
Me:"Could there be a possibility that Clomid just won't work for me? I was talking with my mom over the weekend and it never worked for her, and our cycles are startlingly similar"
N:"Well, it's possible, but we will just keep trying it. We don't prescribe anything other than clomid at this office. If you want to try something else we would have to refer you on to RE" (WTF!!!??)
Me:"Okay, I guess I will start the clomid today then and see if it works at the higher dosage. One last question- C said last time when you get to 150mg+ Dr W would start monitoring my cycles, like with u/s and b/w. Is that a possibility for this time?"
N: "No, we won't do monitoring until we know you probably aren't going to O or there is some other reason we should monitor you." (Are you a complete idiot?)

Again, WTF??!! Isn't the whole reason I am on f*cking clomid in the first place is that I DON'T O on my OWN?!! WTF and I on drugs for if they think my body is working normally?! And by the simple fact that I am NOT PREGNANT YET, isn't that reason enough to warrant a little piece of mind by a little monitoring? Jeeze, it's not like I am asking for her liver. I just want a couple extra tests run! Stupid, incompetent, unobliging, worthless nurse!! I am beginning to like my doc's office less and less (BTW even though I am not so happy with them now, I will NOT be changing docs {unless I get referred to RE at which point I would go back to him when cleared to} I have been through a LOT with him and these are the first issues I have had with his office- he really is an amazing doc with everything else and has seen me through a lot of tough times) And on top of it all, I am worried that RE isn't even covered by my insurance. The last time I looked into it there wasn't much coverage for IF other than some Rx's and the basic b/w and u/s and a couple other diagnostic tests (like HSG). No procedures. No IUI. No IVF.

So here I am on 150mg of Clomid, unmonitored and unhappy. :( Maybe this time it will work and then I won't have to bother talking to them about all this anymore. I just feel like they are so incompetent and unhelpful. You would think they would WANT me to get preggo since it's just more $$ in their pocket, right? I hate feeling like my questions and concerns go unanswered and overlooked. Ugh! I guess all I can do is trudge (is that even a word?) through another cycle and hope for the best.

WTF is this?

So apparently all of BDing like rabbits at the 'rents house over the holiday weekend went out the window with the arrival of AF on Saturday. WTF is that all about? I was supposed to Oing damnit! Not hosting a visit from my least favorite aunt! And to top it all off yesterday was (TMI) so heavy I was going through a tampon every couple of hours... not really that pleasant when you have to ride in a car for 8 hours. It's back to normal today, but seriously what the HELL?

I have a call into my docs office, but I haven't heard back yet. I guess I am onto Clomid round 3... and upping it once again?

We told my parents this weekend about our little bit of IF troubles. Apparently my mom was on clomid when she was TTC both my older brother and I, but it never actually worked for her so she went on something else (although she didn't say what that was). I think I will mention that to my doc (well, the nurse) and see what she says. Maybe we can try Femera? Or maybe they will just up the clomid? I guess I just have to wait and see.
I'm still unsure how I feel about my parents knowing. We haven't told Batman's parents anything other than we are trying. I guess I just feel like the less I talk about it, the less other people will want to talk about it and give unsolicited (and generally inaccurate) advice. It makes sense to talk about it with my mom though. She had a hard time TTC all of us except my youngest brother. There are 8 years between me and my little sister if that tells you anything. I just hope I don't get random emails or phone calls from anyone thinking I really care about their two cents (well, IRL people anyway... I do care what you all think!)

On a better note, we really had a fantastic time in Seattle, although all those places that I said we would be sure and visit? Ya, only got to this one. We were just too busy doing other stuff. More important stuff like eating turkey leftovers. and watching football. and playing apples to apples. (BTW, if you have never played that game, I HIGHLEY recommend it... it's loads of fun!) and shopping.

Hope everyone had a great holiday!