Friday, February 27, 2009

First "official" appt

Well I had my "official" first appt yesterday with another u/s (yay!) :) Bean is looking great and measuring basically right on. He (I use he only because Bean sounds more boyish to me than girlish LOL) was measuring at 7wks, but the tech said he could be bigger but she couldn't get a very good measurement since my uterus (in her words) is tipped WAY, WAY back and Bean was hiding WAY, WAY in the back ;-) I guess he was little camera shy yesterday. Pics to follow. I wasn't able to upload them to my computer, but I will this weekend.
H/b was 149bpm, which puts m/c risk at less than 1%. My doc said at 10wks he may take a gender guess based on the h/b (according to the tech he is right 8-9 times out of 10!) so we'll see what he guesses in about 3 weeks ;-)
I'm still feeling sick so they had be start taking B6 50mg 3xday and 1/2 tablet of Unisom right before bed. I am still on the progesterone supps until they run out- somewhere between 10-12 wks. They haven't been too horrible other than a little drippage, but nothing a pad can't take care of.
We have been cleared for BD again (okay I realize it's not for the same purpose, but it's one of my FAVORITE acronyms LOL) and I can also get back to exercising more than walking Hooray! He approved out diet (we eat a whole foods plant based diet) and said if I had any nutrition questions he can put me in touch with a dietician at the hospital (it's across the street from both his office and my work office) That was nice to hear :)

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I'm a bad blogger

Apparently, looking at my last few posts, I only feel the need to blog when a) I am having a crisis or b) I am updating about something to do with pg or bean.
So in light of that, here is a completely RANDOM post:

1. I don't like my job this week. Not really for any particular reason, and I know I should be thankful that I even HAVE a job, but for some reason I am just plain bored at work and it's driving me CRAZY!

2. A girl got her nose smashed into her head (and likely her brain) at the basketball game I went to on Saturday (a player not one of my cheerleaders, thank goodness). It was really scary. She just laid there, not moving, going in and out of consciousness the whole 20 minutes we waited while the EMTs worked on her. I cried... for her, for her teammates, for her parents that will get a phone call that their daughter had a TBI...

3. I just love my puppy (okay I realize he isn't a puppy anymore, but in my eyes he will ALWAYS be my first "baby") and I am nervous how he is going to react once Bean makes an appearance. Batman has stated that once Bean gets here, Kino goes outside. I, of course, cried "NO WAY JOSE" so we'll see what actually happens (I usually win with dog stuff) but it makes me sad to think of my baby Kino having to spend all his time outside :( It makes me want to cry :*(

4. I may have said this before, but as much as I love the girls on my squad... they just aren't very good. After Christmas break it was like they pretty much forgot everything. It's kind of sad sometimes. (I should probably blame myself... but that would just be silly)

5. I am having a really hard time NOT eating cheese right now. It seems to be one of the few things that actually sounds good at night when I get home- case in point, last night I went and got a pizza instead of eating the steamed broccoli and roasted asparagus I had planned on making. So much for being a vegan I guess. (I did buy Sk.inny B*tch- bun in the oven, in hopes that I can STOP the cheese madness and make healthier decisions)

6. Batman is SUPER sick right now. He started getting sick Friday and has gotten worse everyday since then. Today is day 2 off from work and he sounds like death! I hope I don't catch whatever it is because he sounds (and looks) downright miserable!

7. I want to get a list of things BTDT moms have found to be "the best" baby/ pregnancy products. If you have any, let me know! As you know, I am a first timer so could use all the help I can get!

8. I haven't been sleeping well lately. I go to sleep just fine around 8:30- 9 because I am exhausted, but then I wake up 4,5,6 times- I look at the clock roll over and then it takes 10 min to get back to sleep. Has anyone else experienced this? I didn't have quite this problem before getting preggo (it was usually only 2-3 times a night)

9. Work now knows I'm preggo... it kind of "came out of the bag" Friday and yesterday. They are all excited since now they will have 2 babies to gush over.

10. I don't really like that work knows already. I was going to wait to share the news after I got back from DC (1 mo 2wks and 3dys from now) which would put me around 13-14 wks and out of the 1T. Apparently that was wishful thinking.

11. I'm leaving for a week long trip to DC in 1 mo 2wks and 3dys.

12. I didn't have to pay for ANY of this trip! It is a gift from my parents (even though they only had to fork over $200... my mom leads the trip so she gets a stellar discount)

13. This list has way too many references to preggo/baby things

14. My sister is coming to visit for a few days starting Thursday! I am super excited because she hasn't been here for about 3 years. I am taking Thursday off for my appt and to hang out with her :) (she's 19 and totally fun! She also makes me feel really old LOL)

15. I think it's kind of creepy sometimes, the people that find you on facebook and myspace. I mean, why are these people looking for me anyway?

16. I really don't like this pelvic rest thing one bit. I'm basically a rabbit, so abstaining goes against my nature.

17. My older bro had to put the cat down this morning :( He was about 13 yrs old and an ear infection spread (not sure to where) and he had stopped eating and pretty much moving all together. My mom and bro are pretty shaken up, as I'm sure my sister will be when she hears- she's pretty sensitive about that stuff. I'm sad about it too. We had him since he was only 6 or 8 weeks old, and while I am so not a cat person, he was one of the few that I actually liked. RIP Calvin :*( I think I might cry again.

18. I think I have run out of random things to share.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Progesterone it is...

My doc called this morning and decided he wanted me to start on prog supps after all. I'm not entirely surprised or upset. I posted on a couple of IV boards and it seems to be a pretty common thing for a) people with SCH and b) people that have had recent m/c. (oh and lots of people on Clomid too... who knew?)

So tonight I start on 100mg vag suppositories. I already have a package of pads from last month still under the counter. A GF of mine at work said I should sleep with a damp wash cloth between my legs to keep the "mess" down. It really helped for her.

On pelvic rest until further notice (we will reevaluate at next week's u/s) and on light exercise, basically just walking for a while, which is fine with me ;-) Batman will tell you that I have been coming up with LOTS of excuses not to work out as it is, so this doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Bean's first pictures

Here they are as promised :)

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Houston we have a heartbeat!

So I freaked out for nothing... okay not NOTHING, but it looks like Bean is doing just fine. It's measuring at 6wks 2dys instead of 6dys, which completely fine with me. Heartbeat was pounding away at 115bpm, completely normal for 6wks. They changed my EDD to Oct 13th instead of the 9th. Oh ya, there's only one... Batman's coworker's dreams were wrong (can I say a "THANK GOODNESS" here? I would have been happy, but I have so much LESS to worry about with just one)

I do have a small subchorionic hemorrhage, but since it's pretty small the u/s tech said it didn't look like much to worry about. She suspected that's where the brown spotting was coming from. She let me know I might be getting more and that it even might be red, but not to worry too much. If I don't have any cramping and the bleeding isn't heavy (as in saturating a pad in less than an hour) that I was more than likely fine.

I wasn't able to get b/w since my doc is out today and he is the one that has to order that. His nurse was out too. I am not terribly worried, but the u/s tech did leave a message for him or his nurse to call me tomorrow about a couple of issues- progesterone and whether I need to be on suppositories and pelvic rest. Until we hear otherwise, Batman and I will refrain. Kind of sad, but we have been on a hiatus since last week anyway because of the earlier spotting. I'm more worried about Batman's sanity through this than anything ;-) I kid, I kid.

I am really feeling much, much better about this. Seeing that little heart beating away just about took the breath out of me. Even Batman got a little teary when she was explaining everything (too bad in my mind I kept saying, "I'm not an idiot, I know what we are looking at" LOL I guess she has to explain everything for people that don't read or do research at all) It was good for Batman to hear it all though :) He says it makes it a lot more real to him.

I'll try to post the u/s pic later tonight when I get home. I don't have a scanner here at work that I can use. I will keep you all posted!

Thank you so much again for all your P&PTs and healthy bean vibes! I know they all help our little Bean!

Called the doc

u/s in an hour

I will request a blood draw at that time too.

Batman is meeting me...

Having a complete break down

So I just went to the bathroom a little while ago...

brownish spotting... not much... yet

but I am pretty much in tears right now. I just don't know what to do.

what is going on? I have had peace about this baby from the beginning, but a few fears because of our past... and now I am just completely freaked out.

please pray this isn't the end for Bean...

Monday, February 16, 2009

An overdue update and a heartfelt thank you

As Kitty pointed out I haven't updated on Bean since last week when my crazy (YAY) betas came in, but really not too much has been going on. My appt isn't until a week from this Thursday (and let me tell you the wait is torture- I guess at least there will be more to see by then?).
Starting Wednesday the m/s started to kick in. I was okay as long as I would eat something small as soon as I got out of bed (like a banana) and then went potty (something about a BM first thing in the morning I tell ya! ;-) ) then kept eating. Now it's taken on a new twist though. Even if I do the above, starting Friday morning I started dry heaving and even vomiting up the small snack. Once I get moving now (and keep my tummy full) I seem to be okay, but I feel like I am constantly chewing on something. I have been trying to keep it healthy with fruits and veggies, but sometimes the thought of another carrot stick just turns my stomach inside out.
I'm trying really not to complain about any of this (and I think I have succeeded so far) because I know all of it means Bean is doing well and still stuck up in there :)
I have been really, really tired, falling asleep around 8-8:30. I have put some of the work outs on hold, but I am going to pick it back up again this week (only a little less intense LOL I guess p09x will just have to be on the back burner until late October).
Batman's emotions come and go. Sometimes he is really excited and ready to talk names (like yesterday morning at breakfast with his parents) and other times he doesn't want to hear anything about pg and babies. For the most part, he is being a really good sport and puts up with a LOT of baby talk. The sweetest, cutest thing the other night- he layed on the end of the bed reading out loud from the book I bought him. We had a few laughs before I nodded off, but I thought it was really cute :)
I have to admit I am really looking forward to a baby bump and getting to shop for maternity clothes... is that weird? I have a few friends IRL that LOATHED shopping for maternity clothes, but honestly I CAN'T WAIT! (really, tell me if that's weird) I found that carries the bella band (knockoff) for only $16.99 so I think I will get a couple in the next couple weeks. Sadly all of my jeans except for one pair (my "fat pants") don't really fit and hurt if I wear them too long... Isn't it a little early for this?
So all in all, things are going well. I am still a little anxious and have been having a hard time DTD (I have gotten some light spotting each time and it really FREAKS me out), much to Batman's dismay (and my own too... if any of you know me you know I am a RABBIT LOL). Hopefully this gets better soon!

I have to say a very heartfelt thank you to all of you who read my blog. You all have been such a blessing and support to me over the last mos and I can't wait to share this journey with you all. I know how truly blessed I am and I hope and pray that all of you TTC ladies will get your BFPs soon! If I ever come across as ungrateful or bitchy about any of this, can one of you slap me? I don't ever want to taken this gift for granted and I never want to alienate any of you by some thoughtless comment. Thank you for being true friends, even if it does mean it's only on the other side of a computer screen. Honestly you all know more about me than most people IRL! LOL Thank you from the bottom of my sappy, little heart!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Funny Story

My BIL was at our house last night. I didn't to see him since I go to bed super early these days, but I definitely heard him and Batman.

I was awoken (awakened?) at about 1 to their shouts and curses at each other while playing Pain on the PS3. While this really kind of pissed me off because they interrupted my sleep, I figured I wouldn't yell at them since they don't see each other all that often. This goes on for about 15 min before I fall back asleep. Well about 15 minutes later (I guess) Batman comes into bed and (slurring his words) says they are done and can I please wake him up when I leave for work. Sure, of course.
Out of no where there is a HUGE BANG! CRASH! It came from outside and I know my BIL just walked outside (to do god knows what?). I sit up in bed , freaking out, yelling at Batman to go check on him. Batman assures me his brother is fine, just go back to sleep, don't worry, he's fine. We don't hear anything for a good ten minutes when finally the back door opens and closes and footsteps sound through the house. I figure he must be fine and go back to sleep.

Well Batman calls me this morning, and come to find out my BIL did trip and fall while he was outside on our deck (again, doing who knows what)- hence the large crash- and laying there in the not-quite-melted snow, contemplated staying the night out there because he was too drunk to get up! Finally (after about 10 min) he realized this was the wrong thinking and that he would probably freeze to death if he stayed out ALL night long and dragged himself into the house.

I was ROLLING! LMAO! This is so like my BIL! (and Batman).

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

This just in...

okay, I think I should have posted the last post about 2 hours ago because not more than 5 minutes later the nurse finally called.

so the numbers...

drum roll....

longer drum roll...

yep that's right! 4898! Apparently I am SUPER pregnant (lol, her words not mine... or was it VERY?)

Thanks so much for all the high beta vibes girls! Apparently they worked :) You guys do good work! Remind me to ask for open leg vibes when we want to find out the gender in a few months ;-)

Still waiting, waiting, waiting

Apparently 3 hours to my docs office means more than actual 3 hours... I had my blood drawn at 8 this morning... it's now almost 3. I called at 1 and "they" were in a meeting and the receptionist would have someone call me back... Um, ya... I am so not happy right now! Gaaah!! I'm calling again at 3:30. Maybe if I make myself a pest they will just break down and give me the results already!?

On a side note for those that don't know, the AFOQT stands for the Air Force Officer Qualifying Test. It's the test that determined whether or not Batman qualified to be an office and go off to officer school or not. Remember how he was so worried and studying his butt off for it? Ya, he passed with FLYING colors!

I almost forgot

No I haven't gotten my beta numbers back yet, but we did find out this weekend that Batman passed the AFOQT! Yay!

His AMS start date is most likely going to be May 18th... 5 days before our 5th anniversary- sweet!

I'm really, really happy for him and I know he worked really hard to get this far. I'm so proud of him!

Monday, February 9, 2009

Beta in the AM!

So I called my doc's office this morning to set up an appt and u/s - Feb 26th! Jeeze that seems a long way off. In light of that, I asked to have the nurse call me back to talk about betas.

I waited all day and FINALLY when I was about to give up hope of a call back today, she called! Yippee! I asked her about a beta and she said she would actually recommend I get at least a couple since last cycle was a m/c and they want to r/o leftover hormones (which I KNOW isn't the case since 1wk post m/c my hcg levels were Z.E.R.O.) Anywho...
Sorry tomorrow around 8am when the lab opens I will be standing in line to be stuck with a needle :) I should have the results back about 3 hours later.

I'm a bundle of nerves right now. I'm kind of hoping Batman will be able to keep me busy tonight so I can get my mind off it all and get some sleep! I'm sure he will be obliging ;-)

Wish me lots of high beta vibes!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

I thought we were on hold?

I have absolutely NO idea how this even happened! Well, okay I have been around here long enough to know the dynamics ;-)

I don't even have words to describe how scared, nervous, worried I am. I'm just trying to grasp that we did it on our OWN... no meds, no timed BDing, I wasn't careful about what I have been eating or drinking, I started a new (intense) workout regimen.

I took an OPK the other day (cd34) on a whim and it came back EXTREMELY positive so I thought, cool maybe I am Oing here soon. Well after a couple days of no symptoms (which I usually have... CM, CP, O pain) and the few comments about OPKs being used as HPTs, I decided I had better POAS and just see... So yesterday morning after DH left for drill I ran to the store and picked them up, went directly to the bathroom when I got home and FORCED out 5 seconds worth of pee. Before the urine wave even got to the control line area the line had already popped up.

So here I am, shaking, needing to really wrap my head around this, hoping this little bean sticks this time. I guess maybe I was more fertile after the m/c?

I have no idea what dpo I am. My only symptoms have been GINORMOUS boobs for the past couple of weeks and sore nips. Oh, and they have been really veiny, like a road map across my chest. I haven't been exhausted like every other pg, so maybe this is a good sign?

I told Batman when he got home from drill :) I bought him the book What to Expect When Your Wife is Expanding. I stuck the book and the test in a bag and left them on the kitchen table. When DH got home from drill I told him I had picked him up a book today that I thought looked kind of funny and that he would like. He starts doing other stuff before looking in the bag and I am in the kitchen going crazy, waiting for him to look in the bag! Finally, he takes the book out and reads the title and is like "Oh this looks funny... WHAT?"
Then he realizes there is more in the bag and pulls out the test... he was in COMPLETE shock! He kept saying,"No way! No way! No way!"

We are waiting to tell our parents until after the first u/s. My IL are on vacation in Jamaica anyway, and my dad is preparing for back surgery this week, so we figured that would give us some extra time :)

Can I get some SBVs sent my way... I'm just so scared for this little bean. Sorry this has been a really jumbled, rambling post.

Friday, February 6, 2009

May have figured it out

So on a whim (since you know, my boobs are ginormous and all) I POAS. Don't get too excited... it was just an OPK.

But it was glaringly positive.

So maybe I'm Oing?

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

What is up with my boobs?

Okay help a girl out here. What is this all about?

Pre m/c I was a C, have been a C for a very long time. The week prior to my BFP DH (and BFF) kept making comments about how HUGE they looked so my assumption is that they truly were bigger (and my normal bras felt slightly tight but nothing to write home about). Post m/c they seemed to have shrunk (shrank?) back to normal size, although I can't technically confirm that (maybe I just got used to their size? LOL), they just felt "normal" again.

But now (in the last couple of weeks) they have just felt HUGE and heavy, and my nips hurt something awful. I went into VS last weekend and tried on a couple (read: about 20) of bras and I was falling out of all the Cs and had a hard time with some of the Ds! What in the H-E-double hockey sticks is up with them?!! I don't really have an issue with them being bigger, I just want to know why all the sudden they have gotten (in my standards) GINORMOUS!

Do you think it could be hormones leftover from m/c? My b/w 1 wk post showed 0 hcg... hmmm... maybe I am just getting fatter and not thinner from these work outs?

P90X strikes again

I think Tony Horton has a really deranged idea of a "break week." On the P90X program you do 3 weeks of weight based workouts then a so-called break week- supposedly slightly easier than all the weight routines you have been doing.
Haha! We were so totally wrong in thinking we would get a small reprieve from our soreness.
Batman and I did Core Synergistics yesterday... um, ya... let's just say I have never wanted to kill Tony more than I have yesterday! It was B.R.U.T.A.L. It's not just a simple ab workout. Oh no, that would be WAY too easy. It works everything between your shoulder and knees until they are so fatigued that you are shaking and can't even move! And I think we have to do it AGAIN this week. Kenpo wasn't bad this morning, but man-oh-man am I super sore.

I could punch that guy!

Monday, February 2, 2009

Another weekend recap

I knew girls would understand. All this IF stuff just really gets me down sometimes. Especially when so many others are getting my dream. That said, I'm going to try to be more excited and less bitter, more the old me and less of this begrudging new me. We'll see how it goes ;-)

Our weekend flew by way too fast. Batman participated in the 4th Annual Inside Ride and was able to ride 20+ miles in an hour. Unfortunately, Batman is far from a seasoned cyclist and his *ahem* hind quarters were more than a little bruised after the whole venture (his "second" bruise over the last week). He had (and still has) a hard time sitting down, poor guy. But I was sure proud of him :) A fellow team member of his ended up with the farthest distance for their heat with over 26 miles!

We had lunch with my IL and Batman's aunt who is in town for the week while my IL go to Jamaica. (She is here because of his 94 yr old gma who lives in an assisted living home nearby. The last time the IL went out of town we were left as the contact people for her and it was a DISASTER [read: 20+ calls a day to badger us about taking her places- mainly church- which she had been told she couldn't go to yet since she had just had a minor stroke] so his parents enlisted the help of one of her many daughters while they are away).
Tell me again why it is everyone on the planet gets to go on vacation and I don't? Two coworkers are in Hawaii, my IL in Jamaica, my parents just got back from Disneyland... Ugh, it's so unfair!!
Then went home and just relaxed the night away, watching seasons of one of our favorite shows and having a couple adult beverages (you know, to dull the IF pain...) ;-)

Sunday we went to breakfast, went grocery shopping and then I went off and did my normal Sunday routine with BFF to Costco (sadly, sans little love). We watched some of the big game, but since neither of us was really interested we paid our bills and balanced out budget with it in the background. I was slightly disappointed Arizona didn't win, but mainly because I REALLY don't care for the Steelers. Ever since the 40th big game. Too many one-sided, terrible calls.

Anyway... that was our weekend. Hope everyone had a good one :)